A Letter to you (yes you!) #2 January 1, 2009

You lay upon your bed ignoring my words reasoning that you are to tired to read. However, moments before you were engrossed in your favorite book.
You sit at the end of the day worn knowing a sister needs comfort. However, you reason she will be fine and you need your sleep. All the while, she reasons that pulling the trigger won’t hurt anybody.

You stretch out relaxing in front of the TV thinking that it is inconvenient to talk with me.
However, your phone attests to conversations you have had for hours on end.

My son was also tired. A night without sleep, tossed from court to court, beaten and spat upon, called every name in the book. Bruised and battered he still took time to minister to the man he knew would sentence him to death.
Skin torn from his back and legs, blood coming from every part of his body, yet he still looked with love at his mockers and sought to comfort a dying man.
Barely being able to reach his next breath, all he sought to do was to speak with his father.

Now my child what excuse do you have?

I say this not to condemn you but to remind you.

A great price was paid for your freedom and joy.
Now what will you do?

For my doll January 1, 2009

We hadn’t talked in years and whenever I would visit the place we met I would look for you and wonder why you left.
Then by total providence I found you again and something beautiful was born.
My friendship with you is a wonderful thing.
You have sat and listened to me when I cried over my baby, screamed in pure rage, and whispered in pure sadness.
You always help me get my head out of my rear and see the light of day.
You always forgive and laugh about my horrible habit of not calling back or forgetting to text.
You have a beautiful spirit full of strength that has gotten you through hell and high water.
You have a gorgeous face that any man in their right minds should drool over.
You have a faith that I won’t let you give up on. You make one fine little warrior for Christ my doll.
I know how much you have gone though this last year and I wish I could erase the pain caused by those around you.
Always know that you have a permanent place in my heart and no matter how many miles separate you and I, you will always be the sister I wanted and friend that I needed so badly.
Thanks for all you do doll.
I love you my Bff =)

Ps. If you don’t make it to my wedding I am so coming out there and kicking your butt ;P

A letter to you (yes you!) December 31, 2008

You get up Saturday morning and rush to your game. You cheer, jump around, maybe even getting drunk. You gorge yourself with the pleasures of the world enjoying every moment and feeling the amazing high of your team’s home run. After you walk to the bookstore on the corner and your heart soars for the book you ordered months ago has finally arrived. You rush home spend hours getting ready then hurry to the concert hall, the best seats in the house your only goal. You sing your heart out and scream for an encore. You come home exhausted but ecstatic over your day.

On Sunday, you hit the snooze button five times until you finally crawl out of bed. You find something to wear and drag yourself out the door almost forgetting to bring along my love letter to you. You reach my house to find you are ten minutes late. You slip into the back row hoping no one will notice you. The worship seems to stretch endlessly and you anxiously wait for the worship leader to say, “You may sit down now.” You tolerate the teaching of my word, glancing at your watch every two minutes. Finally, you pull out your bulletin hoping it will stifle your boredom. You roll your eyes when a brother or sister is drunk in the spirit, and disgusted that the pastor would dare go over five minutes because he has a word from the spirit.When a lost soul comes back to me all you see is something keeping you from your lunch.
When you finally walk from my house, you slip into your car thinking of all the things you could have or should have been doing instead of sitting in my presence for two hours.

Oh my dear child, how I long for you to show enthusiasm over my letters to you, joy over a move of my spirit, total abandonment in worship and praise to me and passion for the new brother beside you.

I long to be your obsession, the drive behind your zeal.

I love you with every part of me, even to the point of death.
The only thing I want is your love and devotion.

Little One December 30, 2008

I only knew you for a few short months but you captured my heart forever.
Your sweet little spirit gave me so much comfort in a time where I felt so lost.
When I first felt your little body move my body lit on fire with an unexplainable excitement.
Seeing your little form brought so much joy into my very dim day.
Your precious little face finally reveled to me.

Your arrival was much anticipated bringing a hope to get through a necessary pain that would last for a few months.

But somehow my plans for you weren’t the same as what would happen.
Now instead of a baby cuddled in my arms I find them so empty.
Instead of dreams of the future I find myself besieged by nightmares of the day you left this world for a new one.

I miss you so much my little joy but I know you are in my heavenly papa’s arms with more than I could ever give you.

See you soon baby.

For you December 30, 2008

My dear one,
I find myself wrapped up in my daily life and taking you for granted.
Rarely do I stop to tell you how much you mean to me and how much I appreciate all that you do.

Each morning you wake with a smile and a kiss good morning no matter what had transpired the night before. I see the way you look at me out of the corner of your eye, how you see me as your Cinderella or Esther and it makes my heart stop. Each time my heart has a new scar added you take me in your arms and shelter me from the turbulent storm around.
Your patience amazes me. I test you to your limits but you still love me and you still extend your understanding on my worst days.
Our relationship could never be categorized as normal or perfect but it has brought so much joy and love to my life.
You always fight for our relationship even when you have no strength left to fight.

Whenever I ask you to give something up or postpone anything you do it with a willing heart and a cheerful attitude. You never resent my requests though some are so selfish.

When I tell you that you have wounded my heart your own heart breaks and you try with everything in you to fix the mistakes you have made.

Whenever I need help you lend your hand without complaint. When I am to prideful to ask for help you quietly pitch in and help carry the load.

When my heart is heavy and my burden tearing through my soul you sit me down and will not give up till I share that burden with you.

I complain about the things you do, I become overly sensitive to the things you say, I tire easily with some of the people in your life, I become frustrated with the silliest things and I loose sight of what I have before my very eyes.
A precious gift, a mighty man of god that  my father in heaven predestined for me before time began.

I love you.